MUTHA RUCKER HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

SO, YOU WANNA HARE?!?*


Having hashed with MRH3 a few times, you have undoubtedly dashed home and frantically turned to this section for instruction on how you, too, can join that elite group of hashers known as MRH3 Hares. Well, we're glad you asked, because we're from Mismanagement and we're here to help. Hashing has VERY few rules, but haring has lots of them. If you decide to hare a run, you are taking on the responsibility for the group's fun as a whole. If you follow most of the guidance contained here, you should be able to hare a successful run. Of course, if it doesn't turn out that way, the authors of this guidance will disavow ever having provided you the slightest encouragement.

 

Not to put any undue pressure on you up front, but you should understand that hashers judge each other by their ability to lay good trail probably more than any other characteristic. There is general, abiding respect for hashers who make the effort to hare regularly; about the only thing you can do worse than lay a shitty trail is to not even make the effort. Take it from us, haring is fun and it's at the heart of what hashing is all about. However, don't be misled, it's not as easy as it looks and involves a good bit of work. But since most hashers only set about two trails a year, it's worth putting some time and effort into it.

 

For starters, simply find someone you think it would be fun to hare with and discuss setting a trail together. Failing this, approach the Hare Raiser or GM, who will help you find someone to co-hare with. For your first trail, you MUST work with an experienced hare (trust us on this, ok?). It really doesn't matter that you've attended 50 hashes as a hound.

 

Haring a good trail is simple. Just make sure you have covered your bases in each of these areas: Trail, Beer, Safety, and, most importantly, Fun.

 


TRAIL


Find a co-hare. Before you even search for a trail, find another hasher or two to help you hare. If you are a first-time hare, it is imperative that you find an experienced hare to co-hare with. They can advise you on trail layout and hash logistics. Don't be afraid to ask someone to hare with you who you don't know well. You can make friends quickly through haring together. A total of three hares is the most that you want. The potential for screw ups increases exponentially with the number of hares.

 

Select a trail. Often, it is easiest to find an ending site (the On In) first, then the parking for the start, and connect the two. MRH3 requires a lot of parking space, so please remember that during the initial planning. The On In MUST be a relatively secluded place where the hash can drink unmolested by property owners, police, and other non-hashers. Your GM or Hare Raiser should be well versed where the consumption of alcohol is legal and (more importantly) illegal. Keep in mind that expected weather is rarely what you find on your hare day. Be prepared for the worst, and always have a backup plan. Especially during cold/rainy seasons, indoor or covered On Ins are particularly prized. At any time of season, shelter is appreciated! Remember that non-refundable party room fees (such as are common at apartments and condos) eat into your budget (see below). If you have something REALLY special in mind that might force you over your budget, you must contact the GM several weeks ahead of time for approval or you will not be reimbursed by the hash (thanks for your contribution).

 

It is preferred that the start be within walking distance of the On In, so that people can walk back to their vehicles (referred to as an A-to-A prime run). If this is not possible, plan on providing transportation back to the start (known as an A-to-B run). It is assumed that all trails are dog friendly, unless the hares announce otherwise in their directions.

 

The trail itself should be devious and challenging, but not life-threatening and absolutely not on private property unless permission has been obtained. Land owners will (and have) called the police. Try to find interesting things to run on/through/in like sewers, forests, hills, swamps, creeks, ravines, business parks, public places, etc. Try to avoid stretches of flat blacktop with no checks (aka "death marches") and railroad tracks.

 

Unfortunately, some bad decisions by some of our members regarding public nudity have caused us to be banned from Briarwood West, Courtyard Place, Creekside, Dunwoody, Foxchase, Foxhill Commons, and Wakefield. We may use the streets in these subdivisions/complexes, but only the city streets. Everything else is off limits.

 

D-erections. Ideally two weeks prior to the hash date, you need to provide the start location and simple, clear directions with other information -so that even people with half-a-brain can follow them- to the Hare Raiser or GM so that they can be included in announcements and on the web page. If you're feeling particularly generous, get the lat/long coordinates and send them along with the directions. A tip: unless you are extremely sure about the accuracy of the directions you provide, go out and drive them to make sure that you have the exit numbers, names of streets, route numbers, right/left turns, etc. noted correctly, and that you aren't providing directions the wrong way down one-way streets or through blocked streets due to construction zones. Your hash won't be any fun if no one can finish it because they couldn't find the start!

 

Marking the trail. You must know the MRH3 trail markings before you try and set a trail - this is not a good time to learn on the job. On the day of the run, have enough flour & chalk to handle your trail markings - figure about 1.5 pounds per mile, more if much of the trail is through a lot of shiggy.

 

Mark the trail deviously, but don't make it Mission Impossible. Nothing angers a pack more than encountering an unsolvable check. So plan your checks well. True trail should pick up somewhere within about 100 feet of a check. After three marks, the pack knows that they are on true trail. Vary the location of your marks: alternating sides of the street, on trees, on fence posts, etc. Do not put hare's arrows or checks on false trails. Marks should be about every 100 feet-closer in tall grass or nasty shiggy. Don't change direction unless you use a hare's arrow or a check, or, at a minimum, three quick successive marks of flour. If it's pouring rain when you set trail, make sure you put down tons of marks in areas where they are less likely to get washed away-like the trunks of trees. Also, FYI, flour endures rain OK, chalk evaporates in seconds.

 

The Run. MRH3 is a Live Hare Hash, which means that the hares set the trail before the pack takes off. When you are released at the start, run quickly but don't panic: you have a generous head start on the pack, even if you're the slowest hasher in MRH3. If you're afraid of being caught, plan beforehand with your co-hares to split trail-laying responsibilities so you won't have to run the whole course yourself.

 

If you wish to lay a dead hare (pre laid) trail, feel free to do so, but allocate an hour to mark a 3 mile trail with 2 hares. Be forewarned, there's no excuse for a messed up trail that has been laid dead-hare.

 

Beverages. Hares are responsible for whatever goes to the Beer Near or Shot Check, in terms of coolers, trash bags, and what goes in the coolers. Whatever consumables you purchase will be used, and you'll be reimbursed for them. If you put two coolers out, with a case of beer and a half case of water in each one, and only 10 Hashers show up, never fear. MRH3 will reimburse you what you paid, up to $0.63 per beer - that's a $15 case of beer. Water, soda, and ice will be reimbursed at the actual cost. NOTE: MRH3 does NOT reimburse for beverages, other than beer, soda, and water.

 

Receipts. Hares get reimbursed for their expenses, as shown above, so keep your receipts. It is considered poor form to be a dumb shit, lose your receipts, and expect the Hash to reimburse you. At the very least, it will take longer for you to get your reimbursement. It is best to have your receipts available and totaled the day of your run. Handing the a wad of cash register receipts that aren't totaled or that contain your groceries for the week is not really smart since it is unlikely that the anyone will be carrying a calculator to the hash, and if you think that the GM can add correctly, well, you deserve whatever you get. If you are to be paid by check, you might also want to write down your nerd name. Having to explain to your banker that you really are the very same "Cum Sucking Road Whore" listed as payee on the check might be an interesting experience, but it probably won't improve your bank balance.

 


SAFETY


This paragraph contains absolutely no bullshit...so listen up. Hares are responsible for reasonable safety considerations on trail. The most dangerous hashing areas are major roadways and railroad tracks. If you have to cross a big road, do it at a light/crosswalk and mark it clearly. Avoid blind curves, hills, etc. Keep off of live railroad tracks unless there is a large enough shoulder on the side to safely accommodate large groups of hashers in the event a train comes by. Do not have the pack blindingly running around highways and high speed tracks trying to solve some stupid check. You also need to carefully check the trail beforehand to make certain that creeks haven't risen over their banks, no areas are washed out, etc. and for barbed wire-type hazards in the woods, and for debris or jagged metal in creekbeds or storm sewers. Splitting some wanker's head open on a piece of angle iron protruding from the roof of a dark tunnel would put a damper on your hash, to say the least.

 

If you have any questions about haring or are interested in haring a trail, email us Here

 

 

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