Mismanagement
BUTTler -- Grand Master (GM)
He is the head of the Hash. Presides over the opening of the circle at trail's end. Capable of telling hundreds of hashing anecdotes all starting something like this: "when I was hashing in Antarctica, we stopped at this pub and blah, blah, blah" Also makes random and arbitrary decisions about hash activities that everyone ends up ignoring.
Twerk-n-Rescue -- Religious Advisor (RA)
The person who "blesses" the hares, "hushes" the hash, and "punishes" members of the pack for trail crimes in the circle after each trail. So pretty much a control freak! Pretends to know several hashing songs, and up to ten words in English. Sometimes can be seen sneaking away with a bottle of hand lotion.
Miss T -- Hash Cash/On-Sec
Collector of the cash that the pack gives before each and every run to buy the beer and munchies. Doles out said cash to the Biermeister, Foodmeister, Hash Crier, Webgeek, and others in mismanagement for expenses as applicable while at the same time keeping the hash from going totally broke. Also writes down a list of the hashers in the pack so we know who got lost at the end of the trail. Adept at using the terms "no way in hell" and "piss off"!
Cock Chaser -- Hare Raiser
An undercover agitator who seeks out hashers (usually after they've had a few drinks) and signs them up for haring future runs. Will interpret even the most lukewarm response to such inquiries as a "yes".
Toys for Twats -- Assistant Hare Raiser
Assist in seeking out hashers to hare trails and if she cannot charm you into it with her "Hi Sunshine!" personality, she will be the first to tell you,"I'm brown and I will cut you!", but who could say "No" to Toys!!!
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Beaver Cleaver -- Web Mistress (insert crack whip!)
and occasional Hash Ho
Doing as little as possible while still being considered mismanagement! Handles all the web site crap while dressed in her latex and stilettos, and will promptly punish anyone who criticizes this site! Helps get the word out to other kennels about furture hashes and events.
Long Stroker -- Biermeister
Bearer of the amber nectar. Provides love, warmth, and thirst quenching refreshment to each and every hash. Must have a vehicle with large cargo capacity and good shock absorbers to prevent undue foam-age. What's not to love about combining fire and alcohol? You can't have Naked Fire Jumping unless you have a fire, and the ice is for those unfortunate few that fail miserably at Naked Fire Jumping.
Four Play and Dr. Happy Hands -- Foodmeisters
Provider or arranger of the munchies after each and every trail. Must be able to feed thousands of hungry hashers with almost no money and fewer than 3% of the pack falling prey to food poisoning, and with names like Four Play and Dr. Happy Hands let's hope they use gloves, or at least wash their hands before preparing the food!
Ginger Snapper and Cock Vein -- Hashberdashers
Provides hash attire and hash accessories to the pack. Able to create humorous and long lasting shirts, shorts, hats, and drinking vessels out of thin air (for a small price).
Bloody Swinger -- Hash Flashes
The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, take pictures, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.
Snatch Pole -- Songmeister
Ever since becoming smitten with Jane Lynch of "Glee" fame, Snatch Pole has been looking for a way to let his creativity flow. Even though his hashing name may sound like you would find him dancing at the local nudie bar, singing is his true passion! He is the provider of new (and old) songs for the hash to learn, and sing along to.
